My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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