I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
