he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize