In the future we'll all be gay
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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