Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
