After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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