how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
