marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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