I wannas sexs uuuuu
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
