I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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