Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize