i barfeds in our rink
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
