Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
