I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dignity is for republicans.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
