I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
