Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this just has baby written all over it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
