While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
