i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
