she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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