Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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