It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
