Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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