Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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