Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize