just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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