he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The adults are the big ones right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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