At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
