My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She announced her abortion via fbk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I stole a fireplace last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
