He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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