That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
