I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Pants are for mortals
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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