You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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