sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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