R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
MIDGETS
????
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
