You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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