oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize