She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
