Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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