yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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