Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
