I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
