i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
my liver is dry heaving
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
