i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
