you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
