Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
