Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize