I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
