Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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