Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
