i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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