Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dear god my vagina.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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