Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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