We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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