You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
