I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
from now on my penis is your penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
