I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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