I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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