dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm passing your future prison.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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