I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
