I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
