WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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