I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
