you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
