just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
