This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
