my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
