Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
