So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
