sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
