I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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