I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
