I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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