I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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