he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
